Triflin’ Bitches

Skid marks, why thank you Fruit of the Loom!

Would you buy a quarter of a freezer burned t-bone steak at full price? Would you pay for half a pair of shitty drawers? Probably not (unless you’re a masochist).

The reason I ask these obvious questions is because we are experiencing a time of industry domination. We have allowed the entertainment industry to dictate to the audience (us) what artistry is. We all know that we are receiving a sub-par product, but because it comes from the trusted “industry”, we believe we should pay for it.

Ridiculous bullshit, if you ask me.

Here’s why: songs today are written in a fairly haphazard fashion, with a succession of trite lyrics, and inane hooks repeated ad nauseam. Less than a decade ago we began witnessing artists who could not perform at the level of their predecessors, and we bought into it. We traded looks for talent. We lost the gift of music and in its place we have noise.

The (horrible) theme song to the latest bond flick is a classic example. I don’t like to hate on other artists, but sometimes it’s necessary to check yourself. Look at what happened to Rihanna‘s career after Lea Michele covered “Take A Bow”. A pretty shitty tune, written by Ne Yo (surprise, surprise), but done well. I know the thing had been ‘autotuned’ and ‘melodyned’ to within an inch of its life, but Lea killed it and worse she made Ri-Ri look a damn fool. After Miss Hanna saw the life of her career flash before her eyes, and decided to learn to belt. It’s not the best look, but at least her ‘shirt is tucked in’, so to speak.

Back to the bond theme. Skyfall. Another series of notes and words trying to be a song, sang by a vocalist who wants to be a singer when she grows up. PUKE.

A cover of this atrocious tune was recently (today) brought to my attention and it made me a bit sad. A familiar scenario occurred in my mind where I thought: “this bitch killed it”! Good for her. Why haven’t I heard of her before? Why didn’t she sing this song?

If you don’t believe me listen to the two songs back to back. One of these things is not like the other. In one version (Adele) you’ll hear a lot of studio effects, vocal affectations and gimmicks, short phrasing, poor breath control, little to no musicianship, and an anti-climax where there should’ve been one. In the other, you’ll see a sexy black female (Syesha), with no pitch correction, milk each note and line, toy with and finally dominate the song. I mean you completely forget the guitarist is even there, he basically played the “band-in-a-box” role of keeping time and playing the chord progression. That’s what a REAL singer does. Keeps it real and does it raw, effortlessly.

So, in conclusion, triflin’ bitches who keep trynna get at my wallet with their weak game need to sit down, and would some REAL GAME stand up? We could use more swooshing and less dribbling.

HAMBURGLED!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s