Vintage Vocalists 101


Like old music? Not to old. I’m referring to music that was developed during the 90’s. What a great time to have been an artist and to have been a listener. Albums took years, not months, to come together. Meticulously uniting poetry, instruments and attitude into auditory art. A crochet of composition. Music in the 90’s was like a hand-woven dress compared to the melodies developed on the procession lines of today. Quality, integrity, and longevity. That’s how I identify the difference in value. Here’s how I measure quality and crap in music. Simple test. If I can play a song throughout an entire day. Forget about it for a few weeks, few months, a year and then return to it and still be as in love with it even after its forced hiatus then it’s quality. I can do that with Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix. I can do that with No Diggity by Blackstreet. I can do that with Freedom by George Michael. Brown Sugar by D’angelo. Sinead O’Connor. Friggin’ Smashing Pumpkins, remember “1979”. Can you do this with Soulja Boy? Taylor Swift? Lady Gaga? Adele? Lana Del Rey? (God, do her lyrics suck and her voice is as weak as my grandfather’s erection, who recently turned 80 and had his prostate removed) Sidenote if Amy Winehouse did not pass Adele would probably be irrelevant and somewhere cleaning Winehouse’s crackpipes and weed bowls. They are relatively in the same genre and upon contrast and deduction its clear that Winehouse is noticeably a stronger artist.

Your new school, has found new ways to make my ears scream for plugs.

Your ‘new school’ sounds like it got F’s in being listenable and A’s in pissin’ me off.

Obviously somewhere previously in music history listeners began to unwisely loosen their critical thinking ‘muscles’ and forgot about their purchasing power, the consequence not being able to properly filter all the garbage, like the muscles that over relax when you urinate resulting in an accidental and synchronous fart. And that’s exactly what came out along with the other piss (the bullshit artists who were discovered and disposed of) something unintended and unexpected. As time passed our demands for quality became abated and we conformed to the industries ‘accidents’. But thankfully I still have expectations that were defined in a time when music was still largely quality. I will admit that each generation has its share of ignoble musicians but what should be considered is the quantity of poor artists  in comparison to the number of superior talent during these decades. So I composed a list in addition to some of the artists I already mentioned that really set the standards for music quite high it seems for me, check them out:

9 Inch Nails
En Vogue
Toni Tony Tone
Fat Boy Slim
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Whitney Houston
System of a Down
A Tribe Called Quest
Boys II Men
Mariah Carey
Michael Jackson

Even though they are a bit before the time period The Whispers and Motley Crue were friggin’ brilliant.


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