I was recently a participant in a rather vehement debate. The reason I mention that is because it was the impetus for a way of thought, for me. Now the argument did not necessarily have a victor or loser, simply opinions expressed, because that’s really 99.95% of what we say. Opinions. But we do like to colour these conversations with statistics, statistics we either have no real knowledge of the science behind or have no knowledge of the people and organization that performed them. Like all the cigarette companies which fund research to show how cigarettes are not cancer causing expedients. Well I guess if the cigarette companies were only fucking themselves they wouldn’t have to worry about the appearance of that dysfunctional and flaccid ‘argument’. Not so hidden in that sentence is another side effect of cigarettes.
Many times in discussions topics can be close to heart, very personal, and sometimes we let this get the better of our judgement. One of the cardinal rules, I always believed to be unspoken yet present in an argument, was the idea that as much as I am entitled to hold my beliefs as true and right so is the other person. We both possess the accumulative experience and knowledge to substantiate our own viewpoints, although sometimes contradictory. I may feel my ideology is more valid and infallible but that thinking I feel is often derivative of sanctimony and arrogance. I say this because it is important to preface my revelation with what I see as the underlying mentality of a bully.
For many years we have identified bullies as those that impress upon us their influence often by use of intimidation and fear. Interesting that recently we as a culture have become rather fascinated with this phenomenon, relentless in our hunt for sinners and quite sadistic in our punishment of them.
This is a contemporary witch hunt. Instead of understanding and accepting bullies or people with differences in opinion, however outrageous, we simply tag them like cattle and process them under our collective acrimony and judgment. Talk about band-aid resolutions. Nothing has really been done to truly improve and efface the old paradigm of bullies, we’ve just compelled them to complete their sadism in more secrecy and in our heart become the bully.